I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
