remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
