we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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