why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
