i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
