I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
