We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
