He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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