So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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