Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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