.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
