These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
