Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
