I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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