I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
