is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just gargled with NyQuil
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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