Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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