I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
