What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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