So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was born a porn star she said
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
