so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
