I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
