Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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