this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
