i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
