i already hear my dad disowning me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
