i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
