my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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