I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
