he shaved USA in his pubs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
