I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
