Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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