Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
