New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
