how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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