I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize