can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
