I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm at about main and main street
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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