OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
