HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
