I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
