woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think my vagina is haunted
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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