I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
