hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
sarcasm needs its own font
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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