I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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