Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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