Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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