Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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