If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
