I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
