I just made out with a guy for $7.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
