She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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