I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
