would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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