My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
