There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
