also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Even my vagina gasped.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize