Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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