The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
