just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
