Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
