Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
