WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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